Every piece of shoe advice you’ll find says roughly the same thing: buy a pair that’s slightly firm, wear them gradually, give them a few weeks to soften and mould to your feet. It’s sensible advice for plenty of people. For my arthritic feet, it simply doesn’t work.
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I’ve written more about my experience of living with foot arthritis, but there’s one part of it that deserves a closer look: what happens when a new pair of shoes needs “breaking in” and your feet simply won’t tolerate it.
I can tell you this plainly, because I’ve lived it: unless a shoe feels as comfortable as a slipper the moment I put it on in the shop, the pain makes it almost impossible to actually break it in. There’s no gradual adjustment period for me. There’s just pain, from the first step, that doesn’t get better with wear — it just carries on hurting.
Why “Give It Time” Doesn’t Work Here
Ordinary break-in advice assumes your feet can tolerate a bit of temporary rubbing or stiffness while the shoe gradually softens and shapes itself to you. That assumption relies on a foot that can tolerate that temporary rubbing or stiffness. Mine can’t. When one of my arthritic joints is already painful or sensitive, it doesn’t get a “getting used to it” grace period — pressure in the wrong place simply hurts. Continuing to wear a shoe that hurts doesn’t train my foot to cope with it; it just gives me more pain on top of what I’m already dealing with.
This isn’t a new problem for me, either, even if arthritis has made it a different kind of problem. When I was little, my mum used to soften the inside of our new shoes by rubbing them with Fairy household soap — the glycerine and sodium tallowate in it worked wonders on stiff leather. It’s a small bit of family history, but it stuck with me, because even then, softening a shoe before you actually wore it out properly was just accepted wisdom. Nobody expected you to simply endure a stiff new shoe and hope for the best.
What’s changed for me isn’t the principle — it’s that soap and patience aren’t enough anymore. A shoe that’s merely stiff is one thing. A shoe that presses on an already inflamed joint is another entirely, and no amount of softening beforehand changes that if the fundamental shape or fit is wrong to begin with.
The Test I Actually Use
I’ve stopped thinking about shoe shopping as “finding something I can break in” and started thinking about it as “finding something that already feels right.” Here’s the honest test: if a shoe doesn’t feel close to slipper-comfortable the moment I put it on, in the shop, before I’ve walked more than a few steps, I don’t buy it. Not “it’ll probably ease off.” Not “I’ll wear it round the house for a bit first.” If it isn’t comfortable now, it isn’t going to become comfortable later.
This rules out a lot of shoes that would be perfectly fine for someone without arthritis. It also means I’ve had to walk away from shoes I really liked the look of, more than once, because they simply didn’t pass the test. That’s a genuinely hard habit to build, especially if you’re used to the old “give it a chance” mindset — but it’s saved me a huge amount of unnecessary pain.
What Actually Helps Instead
- Shop later in the day, when any swelling has already built up, rather than first thing in the morning when your feet are at their smallest
- Look for soft, flexible uppers and enough room for your feet from the start. I also like removable insoles because they give me more flexibility with fit and depth. For me, those things matter far more than how good the shoe looks on the shelf.
- Trust the discomfort you feel in the shop. Don’t talk yourself out of it because the style or price is right
- If you’re shopping online, buy from somewhere with genuinely easy returns, since you can’t do the in-shop test remotely
This is exactly why Waldläufer has become my go-to brand — their shoes have consistently passed my slipper test straight off the shelf, rather than needing weeks of hopeful wear to become tolerable.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should shoes ever hurt when you first try them on?
I wouldn’t buy a shoe that genuinely hurts when I first try it on. A little stiffness from a brand-new shoe is one thing, but pain or obvious pressure is different. With my arthritic feet, I’ve learned not to assume that an uncomfortable shoe will eventually become comfortable if I persevere with it.
Why don’t I break my shoes in gradually anymore?
Because I’ve learned that if a shoe is pressing painfully on one of my arthritic joints when I first put it on, wearing it for longer doesn’t solve the fundamental fit problem. I’d rather start with a shoe that already accommodates my feet comfortably than buy one hoping that it will eventually mould itself around them.
What should I do if I’ve already bought shoes that hurt?
If they’re still returnable, that’s the option I’d take rather than trying to persevere with them. If I’ve bought a shoe that genuinely hurts, I take that as a sign that I’ve bought the wrong shoe for my feet — not as a challenge to see whether I can eventually force it to become comfortable.
If this resonated with you, I’ve written a much fuller account of what I’ve learned from years of trying to find shoes that work for my feet — including the mistakes I’ve made, the practical things that help me, and the brands I trust — in The Wide Fit Shoe Survival Guide.
Medical disclaimer: This article is based on my personal experience of living with foot arthritis and finding shoes that work for my feet. It is not medical advice. Persistent or unexplained foot or joint pain should be discussed with an appropriate healthcare professional.
About Sue Holland
Sue writes WiderFittingShoes.com from first-hand experience of finding footwear for wide and difficult-to-fit feet. After two hip replacements, two ankle replacements and years of dealing with arthritis, swelling and feet that don’t always behave the same from one day to the next, she shares the practical things she’s learned about shoe fit, width and comfort.